If there’s one thing we as moms don’t need…it’s more advice. Which brings me to this post, Advice for New Mothers. Before you ask, here’s why we felt this was important to share. First, this post comes from a good place. A place of support, love, and of a, we’ve all been there mentality. There is no mom-shaming and there is certainly no right way to mother your baby. There is only your way, which we all eventually learned once we started ignoring the unsolicited advice.  Instead, we asked a few veteran mamas to share the one piece of advice that supported them while navigating motherhood. I can’t tell you how many times I repeated, one day he’ll be grown, during those lonely late night feedings. If there’s one thing we do need as mothers, is more mothers in our corner.

What is one piece of advice you would give to a new mom?

You’re both new to this.

Stop obsessing. Stop Googling. Put the phone down and enjoy your newborn!

I found a postpartum doula to be more critical than a birth doula… Having a kind, caring professional up with me at night, helping me establish breastfeeding, that understood the complexities of the crazy moods and hormones that follow birth was an absolute life saver in the first week of motherhood. 

Be maleable. Baby’s routine, habits, and personality are going to change constantly. Embrace and go with baby’s flow, and everyone will be happier. 

Find mom friends who “get you”… You will need them more than you know.

RELAX! Kids are fun! there are definitely tough days, but do your best to take some time and soak in the hilarious ways they say words, the funny advice they have for others, their love for the smallest things, etc. Everyone tells you time flies and it really does…way too fast!

Give yourself grace; we’re all just trying to survive. Do what you have to do to get through that moment, even if it’s not what the books say you’re “supposed” to be doing. There was a period of a couple of weeks where my 8-week-old wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on me. I was so afraid of developing a bad habit, but I just went with it because I didn’t know what else to do. Eventually it just worked itself out. Which brings me to…
Someone once told me everything with kids is a phase, and it’s pretty much turned out to be true. Don’t stress too much about something your baby is doing; chances are he or she will grow out of it within a few weeks or months.
Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift you can give your child, but being the only one who could feed my baby felt like an overwhelming burden to me. If you can, pump after you feed and get your baby used to a bottle when he’s a few weeks old. Having enough expressed breastmilk on hand to allow my husband to handle one middle-of-the-night feed made ALL the difference—allowing me to get 5 or 6 consecutive hours of sleep. It was also great with family and friends frequently visiting in the early days to be able to give them a bottle and let them feed the baby. Not only do they like doing it and having a way to help, it gives you a break and keeps you from having to excuse yourself to a bedroom for 30 minutes to feed. 

Download the Wonder Weeks app. It will give you insight into mental leaps your baby goes through and help explain their behavior at different periods. Every time my baby seemed particularly fussy, I would check the app, and sure enough, he’d be going through a leap—and the descriptions would be pretty dead-on. That said…

(Try to) stay off the internet. In the early days, I would drive myself crazy over-researching everything, from how much he should be eating to how to get him to sleep to sounds he’d make and what they could mean… And so much of the information out there is contradictory, so it often left me more confused. It was madness-inducing. If you have questions, ask friends or family, your pediatrician, a baby book, and then if you have to, the internet. Read what you need to then put it away. 

Make sure you are in some photos!

Accept help when it’s offered!

Never be ashamed to speak up about your mental health! Post partum depression and anxietyYou have to be healthy for your baby.

Don’t buy every product you see on Instagram or read about on blogs.   You actually need so little.
  
And finally… Take a stool softener after you give birth. Just trust me on this one.