BABY MAKES FOUR!

That’s right! We are expecting another little babe in August. Most of you guessed and some even asked…brave! I can’t hide this bump any longer so we decided that today, on a day dedicated to love, we’d make it official. Here’s a look back on the day we found out.

We spent the day before Thanksgiving on South Congress Ave. We grabbed coffee, took holiday photos at Hotel San Jose and finished the day enjoying margaritas on the porch at Guero’s. Bowie was a total ham during the photos and Michael and I even snuck in a few photos of just the two of us, basking in our two-year anniversary glow from just a few days before. It was a perfect day! We would have never guessed that tomorrow our lives would once again change in a major way. Let me back up.

A sweet photo from our family session by Alysha Rainwaters. No idea I was pregnant!

Michael had the day off and we had a quiet, slow morning watching the parade and cooking breakfast. I started preparing our side dishes for Thanksgiving and was hit with an intense wave of nausea. Feeling dizzy, I told Michael I needed to sit down for a minute. I went back to cooking after a few minutes and it happened again, this time forcing me to sit down and put my head between my legs. I thought this was weird but never thought pregnancy! I felt better, finished the meals and went to take a shower. It wasn’t until I reached into the linen closet to grab a towel and saw I had one pregnancy test left over from the round of tests I took with Bowie. Something inside said take the test, so I did. I jumped in the shower and after, still wearing a towel, checked the test. One line, not pregnant.

I thought to myself, of course you’re not pregnant! You haven’t been trying and are you even late? The answers were all no. Laughing to myself, I thought about Michael finding the test in the trash and wondered what he would think about all of this. We had talked about trying in spring or summer of 2018 but we both knew it could happen at any time. I went to pick up the test to throw away and something told me to check it again. There it was, two faint pink lines. Pregnant.

My heart started pounding or maybe even stopped, I was in total shock. I immediately thought, I’m not late! This would mean I am maybe 4 weeks pregnant. It’s so early for a test to pick up. The tests I took with Bowie didn’t pick up my pregnancy until week 5. What the what?!? But it all just felt right. I immediately broke into a smile and instinctively rubbed my belly. Hello baby, I whispered. A sweet first moment between mama and baby I will never forget.

I ran into the garage where Bowie and Michael were playing to show him the test, still in my towel. We both started crying. Bowie was jumping up and down with excitement knowing something big was happening. It is one of my favorite memories.

And then came the tears. Ugly crying. Wait, what does this all mean for Bowie? He won’t be my only baby anymore. What would life mean for him now? Was there enough of me to share between a needy newborn and toddler? I found myself telling Michael thatI missed our threesome already. He quickly stopped me and put it all in perspective. We were growing our family, giving Bowie a sibling, lucky to be able to create another life and I knew he was right.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about our future. Transition from no baby to one baby was tough. It was hard on me, hard on our relationship and hard on my freelance work schedule. Was I prepared to do this again? Will we ever find a new normal again? Of course the answer to everything is yes but it took me a while to process. As our baby and my stomach slowly grows, all of these thoughts disappear and I feel only love. Love between me and our new growing baby, love between me and Bowie, love between Bowie and Michael, love between me and Michael, and know eventually, love between Bowie and his sibling, who we’ll all meet in August.

Hoping you all feel the love today.

Love,

The Bocanegras, Party of 4

Image by Heather Gallagher